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blackcoupletalkingHello Moms, i’ll like to share some tips and insights on ways to improve communication pattern in our homes. You see, many of us have issues in our homes not because we enjoy making trouble or that we are married to hard men but because we talk but do not necessarily communicate. These steps would help would most definitely come a long way if we try and apply them while relating with our spouse.

  • First Response matters a lot. Often times issues arise, not because of what was said, but because of the first response that was given. As wives, it’s been placed in our hands build our homes, if we truly decide to weigh our response (even when our husbands speak in ways that depicts trouble) and give a response that pulls down anger; you’ll find that even the man that was “gingering” for a fight, will just turn around and redirect his words. Proverbs 15:1 says;  “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
  • Proper Timing is key when making conversations. Sometimes we feel our spouse never listens, we get angry and feel neglected when in fact, we spoke at the wrong time. To talk to a man who loves football when his team is playing(worse of loosing) and feel you’ve spoken to him, is just a way of hurting yourself. Agreed somethings can’t wait, but please whatever discussion that is not life threatening should please come up after the match ‘Biko, Men reading this; you also don’t bring up discussion at 11 pm, when a woman has just retired after a hard days work to sleep and get up early to prepare children for school the next morning’.
  • Don’t conclude without understanding, often times, we misunderstand statements and then decide there’s going to be trouble even when our spouse means an entirely different thing with the statement. Please statements like; “if i get you correctly, you’re saying….”, doesn’t make you dumb, instead it clears any confusion and puts you and your partner on the same page.
  • Respect your Partner, because when you respect him, you will consider and value his point of view. Make him know that your respect for him supersedes the issues being discussed. make your point without making him feel totally clueless or slighted.
  • Don’t rely on intuition, if you want something, say it. Don’t feel speaking in your mind or with your face, is communicating: we sometimes just frown our face, and get irritated at everything then wonder why our husbands can’t figure out ‘you are having headache’. My dear, just say it, don’t assume he will figure it out. Speaking is a way of warding off unnecessary arguments.

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The author Happiness